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Identity: Conkers.

History: Introduced to the UK over four centuries back.

Look: The outdoor world's Labubu.

No, I don’t think that’s right. It is. Check out a social media video of someone revealing a conker, and you’ll almost certainly hear them call it “nature's Labubu”.

Unboxing conkers? What on earth are you talking about? Oh wow, you really are not up to date, aren’t you? Gen Zers are taking to TikTok to film themselves removing conkers from their prickly shells.

What's the reason? Because of the feeling of amazement! When you open up a conker, you can't predict what you’re going to get. Could it be large? Will it be flat? What will its shine level be? It is similar to a surprise package every time!

Do Labubu dolls share those traits? No, they’re vaguely hellish-looking dolls that have become highly sought-after because they are sold in mystery boxes.

Would someone inform gen Z that they are not using conkers correctly? Are they? How do you play with horse chestnuts, then?

You put a shoelace through the middle of them, and try to destroy everyone else’s conkers. Is that true? That’s unusual.

Yeah. You’ll have a much better chance of winning if you soak the conker in vinegar overnight and then bake it like a pie. You're not joking?

Truly. And if you end up collecting too many conkers, you can toss them in the schoolyard and all the other kids will fight each other for them. A beautiful, natural thing like a conker, and you use it as a weapon? A weapon that comes with a long set of complex and confusing guidelines?

It’s traditional! King Charles literally just presented the global conker competition with a gift of 300 conkers! At least young people are just recording videos.

Why don’t you know this? Probably, because certain schools prohibited the game twenty years back, due to various health and safety fears.

The modern world never fails to amaze me. Maybe revealing horse chestnuts just doesn't appeal to you. In which case, perhaps you would be better suited to some other popular gen Z trends.

Oh really? Like what? Well, there’s this thing called knitting, and something else called pottery that I can explain to you.

We’ve had knitting and pottery for centuries! Let me guess, you heat tools in apple drink and then use them to jab one another?

Certainly not! OK, calm down. I thought all old-people traditions involved some type of aggression, after that horse chestnut game.

This is overwhelming. Take a breath. If you need me, I’ll be unboxing seeds for clicks.

Appropriate comment: “TikTok can’t stop filming conker reveals.”

Don’t say: “That's crazy.”