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Bog Standard

Restroom comedy has long been the safe haven for daily publications, and publications remain attentive regarding memorable lavatory incidents and milestones, especially in relation to football. It was quite amusing to learn that an online journalist a well-known presenter has a West Brom-themed urinal in his house. Consider the situation about the Tykes follower who took the rest room rather too directly, and had to be saved from an empty Oakwell stadium post-napping in the lavatory at half-time during a 2015 defeat against Fleetwood Town. “He had no shoes on and misplaced his cellphone and his hat,” elaborated a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And who can forget at the pinnacle of his career at Manchester City, the Italian striker visited a nearby college for toilet purposes back in 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, then entered and inquired where the toilets were, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” a student told local Manchester media. “Subsequently he wandered around the college grounds acting like the owner.”

The Toilet Resignation

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century since Kevin Keegan stepped down from the England national team after a brief chat in a toilet cubicle alongside FA executive David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, following that infamous 1-0 defeat by Germany in 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the legendary venue. As Davies remembers in his diary, his confidential FA records, he stepped into the wet troubled England locker room right after the game, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams motivated, both of them pleading for the official to reason with Keegan. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a blank expression, and Davies discovered him collapsed – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the dressing room corner, saying quietly: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to salvage the situation.

“What place could we identify for a private conversation?” recalled Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Just a single choice remained. The restroom stalls. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history took place in the vintage restrooms of an arena marked for removal. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I closed the door after us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I cannot inspire the squad. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Results

And so, Keegan resigned, subsequently confessing he considered his stint as England manager “empty”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I struggled to occupy my time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It's a tremendously tough role.” Football in England has advanced considerably in the quarter of a century since. Regardless of improvement or decline, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are long gone, although a German now works in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year's international tournament: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Real-Time Coverage

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for women's football cup news concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Daily Quotation

“We stood there in a lengthy line, in just our underwear. We were the continent's finest referees, premier athletes, inspirations, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We hardly glanced at one another, our looks wavered slightly nervously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina inspected us completely with a chilly look. Mute and attentive” – former international referee Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures match officials were formerly exposed to by former Uefa head of referees Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“What does a name matter? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss named ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to take care of the first team. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles

“Since you've opened the budget and provided some branded items, I've chosen to type and offer a concise remark. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights on the school grounds with children he knew would beat him up. This masochistic tendency must account for his option to move to Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the second tier and that would be a significant battle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|